Friendships and Time

When setting foot in a new environment, be it a school or a workplace, one can be sure to make new acquaintances along the way. One may even make friends too. However, should the moment comes where one has to part ways with their friends, that is when time truly puts those relationships to the test.

A little while ago, a friend of mine came over. We had fun together; we went to see a movie, had lunch and also a little chat. It was…enjoyable, to say the least.

However, it was made very clear to me on that day that my friend was no longer the same friend I had.

Even if said friend does not notice it.

My friend, let’s call her ‘Q’ for anonymity, decided to visit me after not seeing each other for almost a year. Technically it was even more than that as I had already left my old school for about 2 years but we did meet up once in a blue moon.

Anyway, Q and I gave each other warm greetings and we both talked. Not chat. Talked. I refused to even acknowledge it as a simple chat as most of the time was mainly spent with Q’s eyes glued to her phone while I was left there hanging.

Fair enough”, I thought to myself. Maybe she caught on to the social media trend like most teens would.

Then, I decided to ask her about the apps she was using as I found it very difficult to hold conversations with statues. Unsurprisingly, that was enough for her to start yakking away about the different messaging apps she used and why Q used them. That was actually interesting to hear for a while until she said that Twitter was what she uses for stalking. Not “following”, mind you. Stalking. It then occurred to me that it was apparently socially acceptable to “stalk” your favourite celebrity despite the fact that it was a very time-wasting hobby and, frankly, a creepy one to delve into.

As our conversation went on, it became vividly clear that she was not the same Q that I knew from my old school:

The Q I knew would engage in meaningful and philosophical topics and was a broad-minded person. The Q I knew was also understanding and she would look into both sides of an argument whenever a debate came up even though she was a newbie back then. The Q I knew was one of best friends.

This Q, on the other hand, would not shut up about hot boys regardless of whether or not the person was a celebrity or just the regular pizza guy. This Q would also blindly defend her favourite YA movie despite the hard evidence presented against them like plot holes, bland characters, poor reviews and so on. Rather odd response for a now seasoned debater. This Q was also disappointingly shallow in thought and was more keen about complaining about her “problems” which were mostly things that would have gotten Q an earful from me if it weren’t for the fact that we have not met for a long time.

“Problems” like complaining about lack of sleep (when it is really in excess) and blame said lack of sleep on a major exam that had already passed months ago. If there was a real problem that I saw in Q that day was this: Her attitude and behaviour.

As far as I was concerned;

  • True friends do not invite themselves to their friend’s home and spend most of that time on a screen.
  • True friends do not go about ranting about their joke of a problem especially if it involves their friend’s gender ( it can be reeallly tiring hearing about how boys are disgusting for the millionth time) and ignore what said friend feels about it.

And last, but not least:

  • They NEVER treat their friends as if they weren’t even there. At their home. After they gave them gifts. Especially when said friend has gone through thick and thin with them.

But, despite all of that,Q was, and still is, my friend. Q may not be the best friend I knew before but she is still a friend. More of a close acquaintance, really but friend nonetheless. How could I not when I’ve known Q for so long?  I can’t just walk away after all of that because I know that Q’s current state isn’t entirely her fault..

I guess when you meet a friend after a long period of time has passed, time would have already changed them. Some, thankfully, retain that familiar sense of hospitality and treat each other like, well, friends. Like friends should. And I have only seen those friends only once or twice last year. Heck, some I could not even meet at all.

Well, that’s life I suppose. Best cherish every little thing you have at the present as you may miss them once they leave.

I apologise for this rant. I know it is a bit much for such a topic but that is how I see it. Have a nice day.


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